IF YOU HAVE ANXIETY YOU NEED TO READ THIS!

Hakizmana Oyirwoth Fabulous Inno-ancious


YOU'VE GOT ANXIETY? WAIT UNTIL YOU READ THIS!

My anxiety and I have what some people may call a friend with benefits relationship. We have no love for each other, but he still just like go half-death (f***)  with me sometimes, you know? We moved in together some years ago, we have inside jokes - like when I say: " I'm gon' talk to that person over there" then my anxiety looks at me and it's like the hell 😂 please!

My anxiety is the reason I didn't talk to you, he's so possessive. He doesn't like me talking to other people he's irrational because of him I'll take the long to my place to avoid someone I already passed by twice, because I don't know if it's acceptable to say "Hey!" A third time because of him.

I don't correct People at restaurants who get my orders wrong, I just eat. Cause you know maybe these sweet potatoes is what I wanted but the matooke you gave me is what I needed, thank you! Because of him I take the long way to my place to avoid someone who kinda look like my ex girlfriend, because whenever I hand him the aux cord he makes sure to play back all the times -  he told me no one else would ever want me, because of him I still think no one else will ever want me I constantly wonder, what happened to a black man like me who's too anxious to ever feel like magic? Can he still fly? Can he be still flying with wings that tremble? 
Can he forget the lifestyle of an ant, that feeling no matter what he does he's in danger of being crushed and my anxiety doesn't like to be made into metophors but what I'm trying to say is he's constantly reminding me of how easy I am to crush as I write this, I am pushing against his weight on my shoulder and that is why I shake sometimes I have to fight to stand up straight. And stop rocking, him and I pick out this topic to talk bout' together. Something that gets into ya head fast if you read it. It's because writing this piece feels like pumping something outta me that I've been dealing with, like a boxing match that I can't even see and I am determined to knock him out! I have been fighting him for control of our house for years fighting not to crack, stop rocking, don't shake - I think the reason my relationships don't work out is because no one knows they're signing up for a threesome!

I understand, I know how hard it is to live with both of us when we don't like feeling out of control, when we don't handle conflict well. When we don't handle being joked at well, when everything you say to us will be repeated and deconstructed and analyzed in our head a million times after and if I am silent for a while - it's because I have to fight with him before I can fight with you. I have tried to cut him off before, I can not. We do not handle separation well owing to our parents... Oh I mean our ex, I mean our friends - so I guess my anxiety and I have just learned to live together, he's the longest relationship I have ever had and as everyone leaves he is the only relationship that I can count on.
#WorldProb #Anxiouship #idiosyncrantic

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