IS LOVE REAL OR AN ILLUSION


I wrote this piece mid 2019 and it was my presentation at UMCAT - this came when the school invited STF to talk to their youth club members about love, sex and relationships. And this same piece I shared with students of Spire High School at (In) Gayaza.... And they nicknamed me Mr (you can guess it 😜)

When Love is an Illusion

It's a hard thing to do but until you experience it, you will die believing in the illusion of perfect. Before I go deep, what's an illusion 🤔  - it's a distortion of senses which can reveal how human brain normally organizes and interprets sensory stimulation. In other words, an illusion distort our perception of reality, they are generally showed by most people, furthermore an illusion occurs with any of the human senses, but visual illusiobs are the best known and understood.


There is a great author who once said this in one of his works; " Love can sometimes be magic but magic can sometimes be an Illusion," wonderful! You only see the illusion once you fall out of love and real love when you're in love; that's the ugly truth.

Real love is experienced in the absence of fear, pain and suffering, when any one of these exists - then we experience the illusion of love (which does make love not real or true). 
So what are some factors that may turn love to illusion; 👉 beliefs, experiences and expectations that become your meaning of love end up perpetuating the Illusion of love take this example: if you associate a guy giving you flowers as a meaning of real love, he maybe giving them to you because he feels guilty for having done something wrong and is trying to make up for it. In this situation it's an illusion of love, reason being he wants to be forgiven but not to be judged.

When you think you're in love with a guy that you don't really know - in this scenario you're putting him on a pedesand you're in love with who imagine him to be in other words it's not real love but an Illusion of love. And here's my best example of all, we watch films (movies, series, fairy tales etc) from Hollywood, which also perpetuate expectations of love the tried and true story line may be of a boy meets Beautifull lady. They fall in love, difficulties causes them to breakup, tge boy comes after the lady later and they lived happily after...

The seeds of these expectations are planted in our minds and when things end, we want our Ex to come back for us even if he is and wasn't good for us. The results we get from our beliefs, expectations and experiences are usually proceeded or followed by fear, pain or suffering henceforth turning REAL LOVE into an ILLUSION.


When  Love is real

Like I don't have that much to jot down bout' real love, perhaps experiencing the real meaning of love happens in the absence of FEAR, PAIN, SUFFERING etc I'd say reciprocal of what I talked bout' an Illusion of real love. The best way to realise them is to determine what's still festering inside you, for instance, sadness, disappointment, frustration, anger etc and how best can you heal your heart. Like worrying bout' not finding true love again 🤔- Naaaaah ;)!


Here are some of characteristics of real love; 
  • Saying good bye to expectations (I can't explain much because I'm too emotional and 😢 while writing this) - like we expect people be what we want to, so all these are just requirements for acceptability of loving someone however true love has no expectations.
  • No playing victim or blaming others.
  • And it also includes letting go; like throwing everything single thing that happened in the past behind ya back and move on.
  • It also forgive and let go, corrects mistakes and focuses on how best either parties can build  and focuses on the future.
  • It also accepts flaws and it doesn't criticize or throws a blanket when things go wrong 
*  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 
Coming up: 🤔🤔🤔 oh don't know yet what to write bout' but I'll have to formulate some tale!
 
You can't interact with me on my social media platforms; 
https://www.facebook.com/oyirwothinnocentgrass
https://www.instagram.com/innocent_fabulous
https/www.wixy.com.innocentfabulous
https://www.twitter.com/innocent7kenny

#InnocentCrying #LoveIsLoveLost #IwillBeMeAndDoMe
#BBHMM

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

YOUR TIME IS COMING

Image
  Who made the universal decision that we should eat lunch at twelve. Who decided that it should take fours years apiece to finish highschool and college. Who made the decision a minute should be sixty seconds and an hour should be sixty minutes- These are all QUESTIONS I've been asking my self recently and I've come to realize that while "Time" itself is created by God, its perception was created by humanity and materialized by this clocks we put on the wall.  See there's nowhere in the world you can go and not find a clock and that's because we as SOCIETY put them there to REMIND you; society says you should brush your teeth for two minutes, society says you should sleep for eight hours, society says you should be done school by twenty-two, a career by twenty-five, a family by thirty. Be successful by forty and retire by sixty.  You see, we've created this one side but it fits our timeline for life thinking we can ALL wear the SAME clothes. And when we p...
Read more

IF YOU HAVE ANXIETY YOU NEED TO READ THIS!

Image
Hakizmana Oyirwoth Fabulous Inno-ancious YOU'VE GOT ANXIETY? WAIT UNTIL YOU READ THIS! My anxiety and I have what some people may call a friend with benefits relationship. We have no love for each other, but he still just like go half-death (f***)  with me sometimes, you know? We moved in together some years ago, we have inside jokes - like when I say: " I'm gon' talk to that person over there" then my anxiety looks at me and it's like the hell 😂 please! My anxiety is the reason I didn't talk to you, he's so possessive. He doesn't like me talking to other people he's irrational because of him I'll take the long to my place to avoid someone I already passed by twice, because I don't know if it's acceptable to say "Hey!" A third time because of him. I don't correct People at restaurants who get my orders wrong, I just eat. Cause you know maybe these sweet potatoes is what I wanted but the matooke you gave me is what I n...
Read more

LOVE OTHERS AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE YASLEF

Image
 …you can’t punish pple for their mistakes. It’s like… ok u now u have to forgive pple and big part of that is, FORGIVING YASELF. We don’t forgive ourselves for all the bad stuffs and/or all the mistakes we made and it makes it is impossible to forgive other pple. The time I stayed with my dad (because I lived with him since I was a baby until 23) I talked to him on phone 😔 he still is reminding me of all the stuffs he used to educate me and teach me to carry my whole life thru. I just learned what LOVE is! Love is not punishing pple for and beating pple on em’ for what they did and hanging on to that trifling kind of f**** up shit 😉 you know they did to you, and it’s like… getting out of being a victim. And my dad with all the time we been together (from my comprehension of life until now) he was a drunk BUT… he purified my heart in a way that I LOVE LIFE! Like I literally like working with pple to helped find my true self and my dad helped cultivate an emotional invisibility. T...
Read more